Hello to 2024
Dear friend,
Sometimes we have a goal that is so important it needs to take priority over anything else, like a bad day or needing a break or something coming up. That’s a goal for the “don’t break the chain” method.*
But many times the most value comes in letting ourselves do something imperfectly. In letting it not happen every day. In giving ourselves grace.
One thing giving me a lot of joy right now is my 5-Year Journal. The idea is to record one favorite mama memory for the day.
It’s kinda astounding how infrequently I managed to take 2 minutes to write something in this journal last year. I’m filling out the second row and almost always there is nothing in the first row. Does that seem crazy?
Sometimes I get to an entry and they are so precious and make me happy. So that’s what I’m focused on. The joy from the entries that I completed.
I'm being gentle with myself. I didn’t do this new habit perfectly last year, or even really to a reasonable standard. But I also didn't give up the journal completely, didn’t put it in a drawer, or make myself terrible. I have a lot of goals, a lot of habits I’m building. This one didn’t build quite yet.
But a positive relationship to it means I still want to pull out the journal! This year I’m making more entries already. We don’t always know what needs to shift or when that shift will happen. Permission to let ourselves grow at our own pace sometimes is what we need to be able to grow.
Do you have goals for yourself this year? I have a lot, and I'm excited about them. I have a whole color coded system and trackers and favorite pens. I have awesome planners.
(Yes, that's plural. I’m very into planners–-have I mentioned that here? My husband likes to joke that I have a planner to keep track of all my other planners and don't tell him, but he’s not exactly wrong about that.)
But I do all this because it’s fun for me, and energizing. It is not about setting myself up for failure. It’s not about going for perfect.
Often I’ve noticed myself in the past setting a goal and thinking that means the end result must already be in place on Jan 1st or the beginning of the month/week etc.
If my goal is to walk every day, shouldn't I be walking every day starting Jan. 1st.?
No! The goal needs time. I need time to grow into it. I need time for ideas and troubleshooting. I need time to experiment and see what works and what doesn't. For me and for my family, because in my world there is me and my goals but also my husband and five children.
See how that is different from a New Year's Resolution, where you somehow start the year already shiny and perfect?
The goal is for the year, so give myself the year!
Aim to be walking every day by the end of the year.
Get started now moving myself towards my future self who walks every day.
Or who writes in that 5-Year Journal every evening right after the babies are in bed.
My friend, if you have goals for yourself this year, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
How can I befriend myself this year?
How can I be gentle and give myself grace?
How can I be playful and experiment?
How can I best enjoy the process?
All my best to you and yours,
Kelly
***
Notes:
*Don’t Break the Chain: With this method (attributed to Jerry Seinfeld) you track your daily completion with a big X on a calendar. Make it visible and make it your top priority to complete every day. Don’t break the chain of X’s! This really can be useful at times and for some goals. How many goals? I would say if you want to be effective - One. Max. At a time. And probably not in very many life seasons. When used sparingly, “don’t break the chain” is very effective!